Pride

Pride there is one thing about that word that I don't like because it nearly killed me. I was so full of it I got blinded, I forgot my morals, my beliefs and most of all the feelings of my friends. I forgot that they were my friends I forgot that they were there, and it all happened because of pride. For a couple of minutes...or days, days is more accurate I thought I was all high and mighty and that I could handle anything. That was the dumbest thing I have ever done in my life, I thought that I was above all, I thought that I could do it by myself, but you know what I couldn't and in the process of trying I lost this battle of life. I lost everything that I thought I was above, some people say that one should be proud, but in my opinion it's not great to always be proud. I think that you should only be proud of the work you do and not be proud of yourself because you think you are so great and powerful.

Well I hope this teaches a few something. ^_^

Those Crystal Eyes

I always had a wish, a wish that I knew could not be granted only deserved and I could only work for it. I always wished I had eyes that had such a crystal clear view on Evil and Good, though I know that good and evil is just a matter of perspective. Is it true that as children we have such powerful eyes? I remembered how clear the water used to be, I remembered how clean the streets were. I remember the happiness that surrounded my life, I remember seeing the clear sky, the beautiful moon and the type of things we are capable of. I remember when the things we made were pretty, but now all I see is such atrocious things I don't know what to think of anymore, I can only say that now as people, we've been only focusing on the bad, but that has led us to try to make things better, so in a way it's not entirely bad to have a new perspective that only shows us the evils' of mankind. Yet it still is, because when we see this perspective we always focus on the bad in our lives and after that there can be a multiple number of horrible doors we go through, we need to learn to start focusing on the good, will you ever notice the good things you have? Will you know that you love your friends just because they are there and they are there with you? Will you love your parents because they love you too? Will you notice the beautiful world that has been bestowed upon you? Will we as people, as a whole notice that what we have is a privilege, a gift that we must treasure? This world is in my opinion, God's gift, and I believe it must be treated as God's gift. We have the right to live, but do we have the right to destroy it, and to TURN IT INTO A FREAKING WAR ZONE!?! I want eyes that give me a crystal clear vision on life...but that's not meant for me to have, cause I still need to work for it. My life has been weird but I want to say if I do reach such a state of perspective... I will know what to do with it, because even though I am still a mere child I still have the wisdom to do such great things.

I won't say Light up the Darkness like I always do instead, I will say something else, Drink from the Fountain and let it's powers show you something else in life. Let the Fountain of Wisdom show you something you haven't thought of.

Toward the Gate

It's funny it's been so long since I've written here if any of you are even slightly interested in this blog thanks for reading. I always write on how I am changing and on how I see this world, my opinion has not change that greatly I can only say that I am seeing my flaws and how I am walking more into the darkness and illuminating it's secrets. I always see the good in all people all I want to say I'm glad that I made that New Year Resolution I have changed people in such ways that I can't even believe they are the same people I knew before. I regret though that I have not made such progress though, I haven't really spread my influence that far. I know I should not blame myself because of this because I'm not strong enough to help everyone and I know that but I still feel like I hold the world on my shoulders. If anyone reads this and wants to help in my blind quest please try to contact me, the more people that help he better the change will be. We all know that things will change greatly eventually but that would be our surroundings, when will we actually try to change people. Change a person to do good to know boundaries to know how this world works to know the difference of good and evil. People do change but the thing is people change differently and not everyone will learn the same I am not saying to force them to change for the better, it is always a person's choice if he or she wants to change and if they do why not give them a push in the right direction. Just watching people hoping that they will be OK is not really enough. Pain is something that changes people in a bad way I want to say to relieve pain, to relieve stress, to relieve depression, anger, envy, greed, pride and wrath. Know how to change people and know how different people are, there are two gates everyone will choose go through Good or Evil. What has been your choice?

Movie Review

BLADE RUNNER

This movie can only describe the aftereffects of a utopia, what would happen when humans where cloned and modified to serve other human on the outskirts of Earth? The clones develop feelings is what would happen, Replicants questioned their purpose in life, why they were only allowed to live for four years or less. They rebelled against their masters, wanting to live their own life, some of them hoping to lengthen their time span. As these clones started to think of freedom a special police force unit was created called Blade Runner, they were created to exterminate Replicants. But to the public this was called retirement not extermination. In this great movie (in my opinion) the differences between Replicants and the Blade Runners are questioned the officer named Deccker wonders about the creation of the Replicants, while he faces of with four renegade Replicants that have hijacked a ship and have landed on Earth.

Food crisis in Haiti

I am poor, the prices of food has gone up and all I can feel is the burning sensation in my stomach screaming, screaming, screaming, screaming for food! Our government has done nothing for our economy, we are one of the poorest countries in the world and the only thing most of us can think about is that it is the fault of the government. Most of us have been stealing for food, some us are looking for even crumbs on the floor, then that was even lessening all most of us can think about was the government and how it was their fault, then it started we just started to riot we marched towards the palace, not anything in mind just to get back at them. Then we were surrounded by white fog that burned our eyes some of us couldn't stand it some of us kept going ignoring the blinding pain in our vision. Then I felt the ground with my body laying down, pain all over my body as if I was it by a projectile. I notice others were on the ground, I fainted I find myself in jail still with the burning sensation in my stomach still screaming for what is becoming scarce food.

As time flies by

second by second, minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day, week by week, month after month it's been three months and I feel I haven't done much at all. I am having trouble getting to the people on the outside or maybe it's just me, or should I say what I did, in the past I was a jerk I was someone who created the darkness, and now look at me I am becoming someone who is fighting what I was. Maybe that's the problem I'm still fighting with the old me the one that cared only of himself, the one who treated people like his puppets, I used to call him Mark thinking that it was a manifestation of feelings I don't let out, but I have come to realization that that person is me and it's the only thing getting in the way. I'm so freaking weak, and I'm supposed to become the leader of a group I hand selected, hoping that they would help me destroy the very person I used to be. A person who created darkness, who treated people like puppets, a person that played with the emotions of others, someone who takes satisfaction in other people's pain. I'm so freaking weak I don't think I can do it I doubt myself so much because I used to be someone who caused pain and I fear losing it, I fear that one day I won't have control and I'll just let it out and become what I am trying to destroy again. Everyone says that I should loosen up, but I can't I just can't. They have so much faith in me can I actually do it I know that I have learned things that would help me do it, I have the strength to do it, but there is a barrier that I can't get through. That barrier is my past, I barely remember anything from it and I need to find out who I was, I need to find out who was the one that changed me into the person who is writing this, I scream because I can't figure out who, or what changed me. For now I will try no matter what to become a leader, I may think that I am weak but they don't so that must mean something.

LIGHT UP THE DARKNESS!

Written thoughts

As I read and read the things written down by my fellow companions I can only say one thing sometimes, curse this world we live in, what do we fight for now money, land or is it because we have the minds of apes and do idiotic things? Why do we start wars why do we start the fights the battles, why do we shed blood? Tell me because I have no idea at all, I am trying so hard to prevent my friends from becoming empty shells but I feel so angry because I am only limited to just helping the people I know, if I could I would end wars I would end the problems of everyone, of the world, but I can't...can I? If I could just do it if I could just make the world better if I could just cure people if I could heal everything than would the world be a better place...wouldn't it? My mind is yelling yes and no, yes because there will finally be peace but no because people won't accept a better world, they are addicted to their problems and they just like causing more and more problems, if we are all striving for a perfect world why don't we actually DO IT!!!! WHY CAN'T WE SEE BEYOND DIFFERENCES, BEYOND THESE FREAKING PROBLEMS, WHY CAN'T WE TRY TO MAKE THIS WORLD PERFECT AND PEACEFUL LIKE WE SAY WE DO!!!! I'LL TELL YOU WHY BECAUSE OF HOW WE THINK OF HOW WE ARE BECAUSE OF HOW WE DEAL OUR PROBLEMS WITH ALL THIS MINDLESS VIOLENCE!!!!!! If you are asking how would know all this you're just 15 well I'll tell you why because I was thrown into all of this I felt and grew from the freaking pain caused by this world I was just like everyone else actually but you know what I got out, someone took me out now my eyes, heart & mind have been opened wide. I've tasted the fruit and explored it's mysteries just because I'm young doesn't mean I can't see what is around me, I am no longer blind anymore and I can see it all. Light up the darkness that is what I always say but it easier said then done maybe that is why people gave up because it was just to difficult to change the way people see the world...is it? They are probably right but that doesn't mean I'm going to quit just because something is hard to do doesn't mean it isn't worth doing, to those reading I must tell you to open up what is locked, stop talking of destroying the darkness and actually do it, I myself am trying to start a club revolved around the things I have just discussed, EVEN IF I CAN'T DO IT SOMEONE ELSE WILL HAVE THIS SAME GOAL AND THEY WILL SUCCEED WHERE I HAVE FAILED, LIGHT UP THE DARKNESS!!!!!!! This goal has only two options and that is fail or succeed it may be stupid to you but to me it is a pure goal, a goal that will be blessed and a goal where it will happen. LIGHT UP THE DARKNESS!!! DESTROY THE EVIL THAT SURROUNDS YOU, KNOW THE BETTER WAY AND SHOW OTHERS THE SAME PATH AND IF YOU END UP IN A DEAD END, KEEP WALKING WALK THE ROAD OF THE SKY AND KNOW THAT YOU ARE SOARING BY ANGELS, KNOW THAT YOU ARE FARTHER FROM THE EVILS OF THE WORLD AND TELL OTHERS TO DO THE SAME TO ESCAPE THE EVIL. SHOW THEM THE LIGHT, LIGHT UP THIS WORLD SURROUNDED BY DARKNESS!!!!!! Do what people fear to do, do what people don't want to, stop the wars.

Hunter-Gatherer Journal Entry

I'm tired but I have to keep my eyes open every time we rest we must stay alert unknown it is that lies in the darkness waiting to pounce. We have become tired of traveling, food is becoming scarce, we don't know if we can keep living like this, but how else shall we survive. Yet we are driven of the fear of turning against each other hopefully we can control ourselves, every day is another day close to death itself we all know this and we wonder how much longer can we live like this. We barely see the mammoths any more some of think they have dissapeared, I believe that they are still around I miss the rich succulent meat of those giant beasts. A red run has risen, blood has been shed, that means there is food nearby, we must move quickly before the land turns dark. Hopefully this will not be the last time I write, now it is time to HUNT!

The beginning

Yes, for those that understand that, yes it has begun. The only question will you help me will you help with this vision of mine? If you are as tired as I am of seeing your friends in agony, in tears because of this heartless world if not stop reading because you are ignorant, you only see and hear what you want this world isn't perfect and if you haven't realized that there is no perfection, then you don't know how the world is. now if you want to help if you want to help, if you want to light up the darkness this world is engulfed in then comment this. It is starting it is the start of how I am going to light up the darkness. I am a Light, and I am going to try my best to help, to help those who need it. It has begun now you can totally ignore me or help me. Your choice.

Pictiures for commenting

Tree
Two
Three
4
cINCNO!!!
Have fun commenting. ^_^

Good and Bad photos

Well there are bad photos like the one to the left and good photos that actually do something like above you can obviously tell the diference, in practically everything. The lighting, color, background, number of people, angle a bunch of other things I probably haven't noticed but you probably have. Well to better explain the right photo was just an accident and I took this night, while the one on top I tried to capture something, one was to make some people smile and laugh that was my main intention really my other intentions were to catch a sweet angle with my friends doing something weird but I wanted to capture it so it seemed abstract, it's hard for me to explain since I'm new to photography. Now I ask you what is the difference between a good and a bad photo.

Mulan

"China's most famous woman warrior lived and fought in the fifth century AD. Her father was conscripted to go to war, but he was too sick to fight, so Hua Mu-Lan offered to go in his place. Her father rejected the offer, but she insisted. She suggested they have a sword fight and if she won, she'd go. Mu-Lan won the fight.
She cut her hair, put on her father's armor and joined the emperor's troops using her father's name. For over ten years, she fought as a man without her true identity being discovered. Her bravery at the front lines and extraordinary fighting skill so impressed her general that he offered this soldier his daughter's hand in marriage. Somehow, the marriage never took place and Mu-Lan returned home and became herself again. A play written in her honor, the Mu-Lan Play ends with the following lines:
She had much fighting ability, and could act the leader. Her body passed through one hundred battles, always at the front, and compared to the fiercest soldiers, she was still better." this is the part how the legend is described in http://www.distinguishedwomen.com/biographies/huamulan.html most of us know Mulan as a famous women who was in a war when she wasn't supposed to be in a war because she was a women. We've all seen the movie made by Disney yes I admit the whole thing is cute but it shows that the West is superior to the East, the whole movie was based on Americas view of the world, well not the whole movie some of it was true, like Religion, Honor, Lifestyle, Beliefs. Well seeing as it was supposed to be a child movie of course they had to remove certain things like how they tie a womens feet so as to keep them small. This of course makes the foot deformed and is extremly painful when circulation comes back to normal. When they spare her life when it is clear she is women they would've killed on site once they figured out. I could keep going on about this the movie was a bit false but some parts were true so I guess I can't really keep arguing seeing as this was a childrens movie and wasn't really intended to show the evils of a country, just to reanimate a legend in Disney's point of view.

To the friends I left behind

If any of my of my friends read this, old ones or new ones remember I am always around even when I'm not really I'm always around, just to help. I am always there to help, I will come to comfort you I will go to endless bounds just to help you, but you got to tell me, I will run just to reach you I dont care if your 3000 miles away from me I'll come. You guys are my friends and you have taught me so much so let me return the favor. I am not doing this because I have to but because I want to. If you guys ever read my new year resolution I have to tell you I wrote it because of my friends, and now it has become a goal that I want to fulfill. I may need help myself but I will always put my friends on the top of my list. We grew up together and right now it may seem like our bonds are breaking but I need to say NO! are bonds will stay as long as I live, I swear it. You guys always saw me as someone great but I always saw my friends as the great people. My friends are my inspiration, my encouragement my light in the darkness. Everyone I know and met and befriended I always saw they all had something special, a unique gift that seperated the rest, I became friends with people individualy and not as a group. I just got to know the persons group and I learned that even they had something unique. We all became friends because you wanted to, all I have to say is thanks because my friends helped me grow. But always remember this as we grow apart "New friends are silver but old ones are gold." We all have a unique gift and all I want to say don't fall under pressure and lose it and if you do remember I am always around I am always watching like a sentenial being I am always looking after everyone, I am not around but I am always watching, and I will come when summoned. If you ghuy's ever need comfort, help, or advice call me don't just lay there and become a mess, because then I'll blame myself. Know I am always around that I am lways watching, I am always protecting you, I will always come when asked no matter the distance. Remeber even when I'm not around I am.

The Doubts so Far

So far I have been struggling to control myself to be what I want to be, I have changed but only slightly and I am starting to doubt if I could actually do it. But then I remember something of how someone saw greatness in me, when my after school teacher had his baby he brought him in then he said to me"I want him to be just like you." I guess that's when I realized I had potential I no longer wanted to do things because I had to but because I wanted to. I wanted to set an example, I wanted to inspire others I wanted to just spread myself. But then fifth grade came and friends started changing, some left it became worse in seventh grade were I just lost them I don't even think I have a connection with them anymore. That is when I started wondering what in the world is so great about me I, I say nothing but my memories say something else something different that I have power I have the potential to do great things. Are there really great people in this world or is it just power. I see darkness when I actually look around but I see other things in a persons eyes, something that makes me wander off into a trance that just keeps searching for something pure, something that I know I can reach if I just tried. I look for the good in them is what I try to do constantly, but the other parts of me keep altering it feels like I can't keep a simple grasp on a subject, I am starting to doubt myself I am starting to doubt if I am really different or if I'm just another one of those guys who cause damage to people. Am I different or am I just like everyone else can I sustain my vision of being every one's light I am trying my best to help through writing but when will I be able to help fully both physically and mentally. Right now I am fighting between the mind that just thinks of destruction, chaos, war, depression, darkness and Hell. I have lost sleep because of this part of my mind. The other one that sees hope, light, peace, balance, tranquility and Heaven. These two side are consistently fighting and I cannot chose one is walking more into the darkness and the other is trying to prevent it. In middle school I traveled more into the darkness I'm glad to say I was pulled out, by who I don't know I just remember the hand reaching for me. I guess some one is still looking over me, I hope that I can do what I want to and that is to be a Light I want to pull every one out of the darkness, all I need to do is win the war within myself. I need to have control for those reading this I need to say it may seem like I have control but I don't I know I help you guys all the time, and it never seems like I need help, all I'm doing is faking it I do need help but right now you guys are more important even if I have to lose a few battles I'll make sure I become a Light, I will become Light because I want to make sure you guys actually have a future. I am Light!!!!!!