As time flies by

second by second, minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day, week by week, month after month it's been three months and I feel I haven't done much at all. I am having trouble getting to the people on the outside or maybe it's just me, or should I say what I did, in the past I was a jerk I was someone who created the darkness, and now look at me I am becoming someone who is fighting what I was. Maybe that's the problem I'm still fighting with the old me the one that cared only of himself, the one who treated people like his puppets, I used to call him Mark thinking that it was a manifestation of feelings I don't let out, but I have come to realization that that person is me and it's the only thing getting in the way. I'm so freaking weak, and I'm supposed to become the leader of a group I hand selected, hoping that they would help me destroy the very person I used to be. A person who created darkness, who treated people like puppets, a person that played with the emotions of others, someone who takes satisfaction in other people's pain. I'm so freaking weak I don't think I can do it I doubt myself so much because I used to be someone who caused pain and I fear losing it, I fear that one day I won't have control and I'll just let it out and become what I am trying to destroy again. Everyone says that I should loosen up, but I can't I just can't. They have so much faith in me can I actually do it I know that I have learned things that would help me do it, I have the strength to do it, but there is a barrier that I can't get through. That barrier is my past, I barely remember anything from it and I need to find out who I was, I need to find out who was the one that changed me into the person who is writing this, I scream because I can't figure out who, or what changed me. For now I will try no matter what to become a leader, I may think that I am weak but they don't so that must mean something.

LIGHT UP THE DARKNESS!