It's sad that I am only a small factor in some of my friends' lives right now. The only thing they can remember me by is the past I shared with them, but there lies the problem I was different back then I was someone they didn't want to share their past and I regret some of the things I have done. I wish that I could spend time with them now to show how much how I have changed and how I have become a better person. I don't know...well I don't remember why I did such things, maybe it was to show my friends how cool I was, or to at least meet their standards. But in sixth grade is when I really changed I realized the people I wanted to respect me didn't know about life and neither did I. But which one of us did? I don't think any of us really knew what life was supposed to be especially at our age. We where what 12? So of course none of us really knew what we were doing, we didn't know how much we were hurting until we saw a person cry and then all of us would go into a group hug.
I always go back to the same question WHY do we do these things?
I think it's cause we do not know life, and that few of us know how to make a "true" connection. What is real friendship? What is real love? WHAT IS REAL?
Why must I at the age of 16 have these thoughts? Then I remember I have these thoughts because I have caused pain and I have seen it countless times, and I just want to know how to end all this madness, all this insanity, all this inhumanity, all this pain. Yet for some reason I can never do it, no matter how strong my friendship is it will in some way or other get cut, I can't keep a person happy because something bad "must" happen.
What can I do?
The answer has always been be myself and help the world a little bit at a time.
Unfortunately I'm very impatient but I really want to change the world.
I always go back to the same question WHY do we do these things?
I think it's cause we do not know life, and that few of us know how to make a "true" connection. What is real friendship? What is real love? WHAT IS REAL?
Why must I at the age of 16 have these thoughts? Then I remember I have these thoughts because I have caused pain and I have seen it countless times, and I just want to know how to end all this madness, all this insanity, all this inhumanity, all this pain. Yet for some reason I can never do it, no matter how strong my friendship is it will in some way or other get cut, I can't keep a person happy because something bad "must" happen.
What can I do?
The answer has always been be myself and help the world a little bit at a time.
Unfortunately I'm very impatient but I really want to change the world.
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1 comment:
Hi, thanks for the comment on my school blog (blogs.hightechhigh.org/aparsons)! It really meant a lot to me! your blog's really interesting too, I can relate to quite a bit of it.
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