As time flies by

second by second, minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day, week by week, month after month it's been three months and I feel I haven't done much at all. I am having trouble getting to the people on the outside or maybe it's just me, or should I say what I did, in the past I was a jerk I was someone who created the darkness, and now look at me I am becoming someone who is fighting what I was. Maybe that's the problem I'm still fighting with the old me the one that cared only of himself, the one who treated people like his puppets, I used to call him Mark thinking that it was a manifestation of feelings I don't let out, but I have come to realization that that person is me and it's the only thing getting in the way. I'm so freaking weak, and I'm supposed to become the leader of a group I hand selected, hoping that they would help me destroy the very person I used to be. A person who created darkness, who treated people like puppets, a person that played with the emotions of others, someone who takes satisfaction in other people's pain. I'm so freaking weak I don't think I can do it I doubt myself so much because I used to be someone who caused pain and I fear losing it, I fear that one day I won't have control and I'll just let it out and become what I am trying to destroy again. Everyone says that I should loosen up, but I can't I just can't. They have so much faith in me can I actually do it I know that I have learned things that would help me do it, I have the strength to do it, but there is a barrier that I can't get through. That barrier is my past, I barely remember anything from it and I need to find out who I was, I need to find out who was the one that changed me into the person who is writing this, I scream because I can't figure out who, or what changed me. For now I will try no matter what to become a leader, I may think that I am weak but they don't so that must mean something.

LIGHT UP THE DARKNESS!

Written thoughts

As I read and read the things written down by my fellow companions I can only say one thing sometimes, curse this world we live in, what do we fight for now money, land or is it because we have the minds of apes and do idiotic things? Why do we start wars why do we start the fights the battles, why do we shed blood? Tell me because I have no idea at all, I am trying so hard to prevent my friends from becoming empty shells but I feel so angry because I am only limited to just helping the people I know, if I could I would end wars I would end the problems of everyone, of the world, but I can't...can I? If I could just do it if I could just make the world better if I could just cure people if I could heal everything than would the world be a better place...wouldn't it? My mind is yelling yes and no, yes because there will finally be peace but no because people won't accept a better world, they are addicted to their problems and they just like causing more and more problems, if we are all striving for a perfect world why don't we actually DO IT!!!! WHY CAN'T WE SEE BEYOND DIFFERENCES, BEYOND THESE FREAKING PROBLEMS, WHY CAN'T WE TRY TO MAKE THIS WORLD PERFECT AND PEACEFUL LIKE WE SAY WE DO!!!! I'LL TELL YOU WHY BECAUSE OF HOW WE THINK OF HOW WE ARE BECAUSE OF HOW WE DEAL OUR PROBLEMS WITH ALL THIS MINDLESS VIOLENCE!!!!!! If you are asking how would know all this you're just 15 well I'll tell you why because I was thrown into all of this I felt and grew from the freaking pain caused by this world I was just like everyone else actually but you know what I got out, someone took me out now my eyes, heart & mind have been opened wide. I've tasted the fruit and explored it's mysteries just because I'm young doesn't mean I can't see what is around me, I am no longer blind anymore and I can see it all. Light up the darkness that is what I always say but it easier said then done maybe that is why people gave up because it was just to difficult to change the way people see the world...is it? They are probably right but that doesn't mean I'm going to quit just because something is hard to do doesn't mean it isn't worth doing, to those reading I must tell you to open up what is locked, stop talking of destroying the darkness and actually do it, I myself am trying to start a club revolved around the things I have just discussed, EVEN IF I CAN'T DO IT SOMEONE ELSE WILL HAVE THIS SAME GOAL AND THEY WILL SUCCEED WHERE I HAVE FAILED, LIGHT UP THE DARKNESS!!!!!!! This goal has only two options and that is fail or succeed it may be stupid to you but to me it is a pure goal, a goal that will be blessed and a goal where it will happen. LIGHT UP THE DARKNESS!!! DESTROY THE EVIL THAT SURROUNDS YOU, KNOW THE BETTER WAY AND SHOW OTHERS THE SAME PATH AND IF YOU END UP IN A DEAD END, KEEP WALKING WALK THE ROAD OF THE SKY AND KNOW THAT YOU ARE SOARING BY ANGELS, KNOW THAT YOU ARE FARTHER FROM THE EVILS OF THE WORLD AND TELL OTHERS TO DO THE SAME TO ESCAPE THE EVIL. SHOW THEM THE LIGHT, LIGHT UP THIS WORLD SURROUNDED BY DARKNESS!!!!!! Do what people fear to do, do what people don't want to, stop the wars.

Hunter-Gatherer Journal Entry

I'm tired but I have to keep my eyes open every time we rest we must stay alert unknown it is that lies in the darkness waiting to pounce. We have become tired of traveling, food is becoming scarce, we don't know if we can keep living like this, but how else shall we survive. Yet we are driven of the fear of turning against each other hopefully we can control ourselves, every day is another day close to death itself we all know this and we wonder how much longer can we live like this. We barely see the mammoths any more some of think they have dissapeared, I believe that they are still around I miss the rich succulent meat of those giant beasts. A red run has risen, blood has been shed, that means there is food nearby, we must move quickly before the land turns dark. Hopefully this will not be the last time I write, now it is time to HUNT!

The beginning

Yes, for those that understand that, yes it has begun. The only question will you help me will you help with this vision of mine? If you are as tired as I am of seeing your friends in agony, in tears because of this heartless world if not stop reading because you are ignorant, you only see and hear what you want this world isn't perfect and if you haven't realized that there is no perfection, then you don't know how the world is. now if you want to help if you want to help, if you want to light up the darkness this world is engulfed in then comment this. It is starting it is the start of how I am going to light up the darkness. I am a Light, and I am going to try my best to help, to help those who need it. It has begun now you can totally ignore me or help me. Your choice.