The Connections

It's sad that I am only a small factor in some of my friends' lives right now. The only thing they can remember me by is the past I shared with them, but there lies the problem I was different back then I was someone they didn't want to share their past and I regret some of the things I have done. I wish that I could spend time with them now to show how much how I have changed and how I have become a better person. I don't know...well I don't remember why I did such things, maybe it was to show my friends how cool I was, or to at least meet their standards. But in sixth grade is when I really changed I realized the people I wanted to respect me didn't know about life and neither did I. But which one of us did? I don't think any of us really knew what life was supposed to be especially at our age. We where what 12? So of course none of us really knew what we were doing, we didn't know how much we were hurting until we saw a person cry and then all of us would go into a group hug.
I always go back to the same question WHY do we do these things?
I think it's cause we do not know life, and that few of us know how to make a "true" connection. What is real friendship? What is real love? WHAT IS REAL?
Why must I at the age of 16 have these thoughts? Then I remember I have these thoughts because I have caused pain and I have seen it countless times, and I just want to know how to end all this madness, all this insanity, all this inhumanity, all this pain. Yet for some reason I can never do it, no matter how strong my friendship is it will in some way or other get cut, I can't keep a person happy because something bad "must" happen.

What can I do?
The answer has always been be myself and help the world a little bit at a time.
Unfortunately I'm very impatient but I really want to change the world.

Today

Yo what's up people?
Well this is how I woke up this morning I woke up thinking "man I have such a bad feeling" guess what I found in my room? I found my dogs...leavings. So I had to get a bucket of water towels and clean it from my carpet because my dad said he would not take me to school unless I cleaned it. From there I KNEW that today was going to be a bad day, and I was right, all the juniors got in trouble including me. We all got in trouble because we were disrespecting our education, and to be honest I kinda of agreed with the teachers. You have no idea how many times I've had to tell my friends to just except the homework we are given and not complain about, because that's just how high school is, in high school you have to work your butt off, no one has any right to complain. Also the teachers brought up the fact that the students were cheating off of each other, I thought "well if they at least explain it to each other I'm ok" but that wasn't the case for the juniors apparently and I honestly believe that. I have been asked countless times if people can copy from me, of course I say no and help them though, I know how much trouble I can get in if I plagiarize, I'm not dim enough to do that. Though you would think well so what why is this so important to blog about? Well to be honest this is the first time in a while were I was so peeved at everything to the point where I cried because I held back me emotions. I was truly and utterly angry at everything, I was not just peeved of at everyone but myself included. I was angry at myself because I could not do anything to stop these events and I was angry at everyone else because of their #$@%@%@$%@$%$% I'm so angry I can't even think of a word to describe their #$@%#$%@#%@#^ so i just put @#$%@$%#@%^#6.

Well I guess that's really all I want to say. So I'm gonna end this and just say don't plageriaze and just work hard, because if you don't you are only cheating yourself. You are allowed to complain all you want, because that's freedom of speech, but please do it while you are alone, and just suck it up and do the work. I know some of you hate to do it but these days that's just how you progress in life.

full essay

Its amazing how four words can mean something passionate, "I" meaning me and myself, "believe in" to put faith into and "America" is a place. Though what happens when you put them together? "I believe in America" it means the faith I have in this country, though what about America do I believe in? I believe in its people, because even though they are misguided at most times they have the strength to pull of miracles. They have won wars, made skyscrapers, built dams, they have done things that have changed the world.While you may not see it now, I believe that there is still a burning passion in each human that lives in America. A passion that can change the world, just like it has before in history countless times over.

When I say the people of America are misguided at times I'm speaking from experience, sometimes we just don't know what to do. Not many people make it a living to guide people onto the right path, at times we stray from it and end up in a place where we don't want to be. From my perspective it makes me sad that it isn't a job. I'm not talking about a guidance counselor that puts you in a good school, I'm talking about someone who is there to help with people's problems. People need to know how great life is, that's an America I want to believe in, an America that struggles to live and doesn't give up. Though I am glad that there are some people who struggle to live, because those people can pull off miracles. I've seen them do things that make my jaw drop. There are people that have saved lives, people that don't want to live but keep on living because they are still looking for a reason to live.

To be honest that's what I mostly love about America there are so many people fighting to live and survive in a cold dark world. Sure there are probably millions of countries that do the same thing but America is different, they live for there own purposes. Sometimes those purposes are greedy and selfish, other times they help the world. I don't care if people are good or bad I just care that people live on to better themselves and to better their lives, their families, their friends. This is why I believe in America because people will strive to live, people will strive to make the world a better place.

What do i mean

Hello Earth.
Welcome to my blog now if you have not read my previous post, I would like for you to stop reading, and read the previous post because you will find it hard to understand what this post is about.
You done? Good, now what I want to talk about is obviously what I meant about this intro. Well I just want to say WOW! Because of a simple itsy bitsy matter, the subject at hand that I spoke about relates a lot to my life....
OK you know what I'm going to stop talking like that cause it's annoying me.
OK now I tried really hard to remember what the heck I was talking about, and I mean hard. Now if most of you know me you know how I just I speak, or write in this case, and I have no idea what the heck I was talking about. I'm totally oblivious to what I write to be honest I just write whats on my mind and when I see it I go "what?"
Now usually I really don't need help figuring out what I meant, but for this one I thought I would need a little more information than usual. So I asked a couple of my friends to talk about the glory days we shared together. Now I just want to say, man I was a mean a kid back then, kinda am right now but not as much I was back then. Some of you probably already know what I'm trying to say, and if you don't well let me just say "Well you know how guys are, we do stupid stuff." Sometimes that stuff doesn't even make sense but we do it for the laughs and to see who is more macho than the other.


When I say the people of America are misguided at times I'm speaking from experience, sometimes we just don't know what to do. Not many people make it a living to guide people onto the right path, at times we stray from it and end up in a place where we don't want to be. From my perspective it makes me sad that it isn't a job. I'm not talking about a guidance counselor that puts you in a good school, I'm talking about someone who is there to help with people's problems. People need to know how great life is, that's an America I want to believe in, an America that struggles to live and doesn't give up. Though I am glad that there are some people who struggle to live, because those people can pull off miracles. I've seen them do things that make my jaw drop. There are people that have saved lives, people that don't want to live but keep on living because they are still looking for a reason to live.
END

Favorite Youtube Video

Time Capsule

Greeting earthling or whatever you guys will be called in a year, and if you still are clueless of what I'm getting at I'll give you another clue. It involves me putting stuff in a box and not opening it for a year. Still clueless...silly goose it's a Time CAPSULE!
Of course all of you already knew that because of the title, but if you forgot to read that....well I just don't know what to say about that.
Well as usual this blog post is for school this wont be happening for too long though because my school now has its own blog system so I wont be using this. Well I'll still be using Blogger but it would be sponsored by which is totally different, at least I hope so.
Anyway I have put more then the recommended amount of items in my box then most, all these things represent me in some way. Which is pretty hard to do you have no idea how hard I had to look for things that had a deeper meaning. First we will start with the box itself, this box is a flippers box, not the sandals the ones you use for boogie boarding. Now I love the water I love the beach and well I just thought that the best way to describe what I do in my spare time will be the box itself. The Second item is a heart, no not a real heart though it does look like one, it's actually a heart shaped lock. This represents my quest to become a doctor, but it represents much more then that, it represents an ability I have, the ability to make people open up their hearts to this world. I have yet to find a heart I cant open, but of course there is a third meaning in this small heart shaped lock, I have put in it the combination code of my best friend's birthday for whom I love and miss dearly and with every bit of energy that's within me I hope she's ok out there in this world of ours. The person I am talking about also holds onto my heart, no she is not my girlfriend she's my childhood friend for whom I will love always.
The third item is something I have obtained while writing this blog, and that is seeds from an apple I just happened to finish at this second, and to be frank I think I got something stuck in my teeth right now. Probably right now most of you think this is cheating isn't a time capsule supposed to have something worth meaning? Well I'll tell you this right now that everything has meaning. These seeds aren't normal they have a meaning and this meaning is from my best friend Kim, now this girl I found at that her favorite fruit are Fuji apples which is a breed of apples that has been mixed between two different other breeds Red Delicious & Virginia Ralls Ganet. Of course there is more meaning to just choosing this because it's my friends favorite fruit. After a year the seeds will be ready to plant and I can grow them, yet again what does that have anything to do with this time capsule? Well growing and planting things is also another thing about me, I garden I have my own home grown garden at home right now and to be honest everything tastes delicious. Now, yes there is more to it, nature describes me in such an honest way. I grow, I absorb the nutrients that I can be given, I am rooted to the earth, so I guess you can say I am down to earth, but that's the thing I believe that plants grow to try to reach the sky, I'll always look at the sky and dream. I am a tree, I am a part of this world, a part of this whole equation we call life.
The next item is a picture, that I myself drew, this picture is slightly abstract at first it's hard to see but when you look at it you see leaves and then a very oddly shaped oddly colored leaf. That's no leaf, that's a snake, why I drew it like that...well to be honest I was just BORED. Though I find it interesting on how I can now let that represent myself, I guess I can start with the fact that I am weird, weird=abstract, at least that's what I think. I'm not saying I'm creepy weird, I'm more of a fun type of weird. Now the snake well here is a nice connection to religion, it is the snake in the Garden of Eden, I'm not saying I am the devil incarnate all I'm saying is that no matter how good I am I still have that darkness inside of every human heart, and that is just reality to me.
Number 5 & 6
To be honest I'm kinda actually getting bored writing this and I wonder if I am boring you, ,y reader. If I am just comment on how boring this post was and what I could've done to at least make this slightly more interesting. ANYWAY!!!! The fifth item is a puzzle well to be honest 2 puzzles one is a dragon puzzle I made a while ago, and the other is a brain teaser. I have as I said before always wanted to touch the sky, I've always wanted to be a bird or at least fly, and for those who don't know much about dragons, my dragon puzzle is an Asian Lung and as the name suggest "were" common in Ancient Asia, though I wish it was a Mex. Amphithere because I would have more to relate, because my middle name is Quetzalcoatl an ancient god of the Aztecs who most think was a Mex. Amphithere because Mex. A's are feathered serpents. Now what the other puzzle obviously describes is how hard I am to understand, of course when it comes to doing something idiotic than of course I would in all manners of the word be predictable and easily understandable. Yes I know that was a contradiction but don't you just love how I just try to confuse you.
The seventh item though is something a bit special it is two gifts that my friends made with their own two hands...or should I say four because it was from two friends. They never saw me open them but I every now and then I look at them and smile and just forget my troubles and I remember there are two people out there who love me a lot and they want me to love life, and love tacos.

Love
it is a word used lightly, but it has a heavy meaning with which is hard to describe with words, most of the items in this box has a small bit of love in it. The dragon I built with a friend, the puzzle I got from my uncle, the heart, well you already know, the seeds is for my love for my friend kim, and well the drawing that is just thanks to the people who drew with me and helped me enjoy it again.
This world is vast don't forget, but don't grieve because you will find your true love one day. Trust me I know :)

Those Crystal Eyes

I always had a wish, a wish that I knew could not be granted only deserved and I could only work for it. I always wished I had eyes that had such a crystal clear view on Evil and Good, though I know that good and evil is just a matter of perspective. Is it true that as children we have such powerful eyes? I remembered how clear the water used to be, I remembered how clean the streets were. I remember the happiness that surrounded my life, I remember seeing the clear sky, the beautiful moon and the type of things we are capable of. I remember when the things we made were pretty, but now all I see is such atrocious things I don't know what to think of anymore, I can only say that now as people, we've been only focusing on the bad, but that has led us to try to make things better, so in a way it's not entirely bad to have a new perspective that only shows us the evils' of mankind. Yet it still is, because when we see this perspective we always focus on the bad in our lives and after that there can be a multiple number of horrible doors we go through, we need to learn to start focusing on the good, will you ever notice the good things you have? Will you know that you love your friends just because they are there and they are there with you? Will you love your parents because they love you too? Will you notice the beautiful world that has been bestowed upon you? Will we as people, as a whole notice that what we have is a privilege, a gift that we must treasure? This world is in my opinion, God's gift, and I believe it must be treated as God's gift. We have the right to live, but do we have the right to destroy it, and to TURN IT INTO A FREAKING WAR ZONE!?! I want eyes that give me a crystal clear vision on life...but that's not meant for me to have, cause I still need to work for it. My life has been weird but I want to say if I do reach such a state of perspective... I will know what to do with it, because even though I am still a mere child I still have the wisdom to do such great things.

I won't say Light up the Darkness like I always do instead, I will say something else, Drink from the Fountain and let it's powers show you something else in life. Let the Fountain of Wisdom show you something you haven't thought of.

Toward the Gate

It's funny it's been so long since I've written here if any of you are even slightly interested in this blog thanks for reading. I always write on how I am changing and on how I see this world, my opinion has not change that greatly I can only say that I am seeing my flaws and how I am walking more into the darkness and illuminating it's secrets. I always see the good in all people all I want to say I'm glad that I made that New Year Resolution I have changed people in such ways that I can't even believe they are the same people I knew before. I regret though that I have not made such progress though, I haven't really spread my influence that far. I know I should not blame myself because of this because I'm not strong enough to help everyone and I know that but I still feel like I hold the world on my shoulders. If anyone reads this and wants to help in my blind quest please try to contact me, the more people that help he better the change will be. We all know that things will change greatly eventually but that would be our surroundings, when will we actually try to change people. Change a person to do good to know boundaries to know how this world works to know the difference of good and evil. People do change but the thing is people change differently and not everyone will learn the same I am not saying to force them to change for the better, it is always a person's choice if he or she wants to change and if they do why not give them a push in the right direction. Just watching people hoping that they will be OK is not really enough. Pain is something that changes people in a bad way I want to say to relieve pain, to relieve stress, to relieve depression, anger, envy, greed, pride and wrath. Know how to change people and know how different people are, there are two gates everyone will choose go through Good or Evil. What has been your choice?

As time flies by

second by second, minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day, week by week, month after month it's been three months and I feel I haven't done much at all. I am having trouble getting to the people on the outside or maybe it's just me, or should I say what I did, in the past I was a jerk I was someone who created the darkness, and now look at me I am becoming someone who is fighting what I was. Maybe that's the problem I'm still fighting with the old me the one that cared only of himself, the one who treated people like his puppets, I used to call him Mark thinking that it was a manifestation of feelings I don't let out, but I have come to realization that that person is me and it's the only thing getting in the way. I'm so freaking weak, and I'm supposed to become the leader of a group I hand selected, hoping that they would help me destroy the very person I used to be. A person who created darkness, who treated people like puppets, a person that played with the emotions of others, someone who takes satisfaction in other people's pain. I'm so freaking weak I don't think I can do it I doubt myself so much because I used to be someone who caused pain and I fear losing it, I fear that one day I won't have control and I'll just let it out and become what I am trying to destroy again. Everyone says that I should loosen up, but I can't I just can't. They have so much faith in me can I actually do it I know that I have learned things that would help me do it, I have the strength to do it, but there is a barrier that I can't get through. That barrier is my past, I barely remember anything from it and I need to find out who I was, I need to find out who was the one that changed me into the person who is writing this, I scream because I can't figure out who, or what changed me. For now I will try no matter what to become a leader, I may think that I am weak but they don't so that must mean something.

LIGHT UP THE DARKNESS!

Written thoughts

As I read and read the things written down by my fellow companions I can only say one thing sometimes, curse this world we live in, what do we fight for now money, land or is it because we have the minds of apes and do idiotic things? Why do we start wars why do we start the fights the battles, why do we shed blood? Tell me because I have no idea at all, I am trying so hard to prevent my friends from becoming empty shells but I feel so angry because I am only limited to just helping the people I know, if I could I would end wars I would end the problems of everyone, of the world, but I can't...can I? If I could just do it if I could just make the world better if I could just cure people if I could heal everything than would the world be a better place...wouldn't it? My mind is yelling yes and no, yes because there will finally be peace but no because people won't accept a better world, they are addicted to their problems and they just like causing more and more problems, if we are all striving for a perfect world why don't we actually DO IT!!!! WHY CAN'T WE SEE BEYOND DIFFERENCES, BEYOND THESE FREAKING PROBLEMS, WHY CAN'T WE TRY TO MAKE THIS WORLD PERFECT AND PEACEFUL LIKE WE SAY WE DO!!!! I'LL TELL YOU WHY BECAUSE OF HOW WE THINK OF HOW WE ARE BECAUSE OF HOW WE DEAL OUR PROBLEMS WITH ALL THIS MINDLESS VIOLENCE!!!!!! If you are asking how would know all this you're just 15 well I'll tell you why because I was thrown into all of this I felt and grew from the freaking pain caused by this world I was just like everyone else actually but you know what I got out, someone took me out now my eyes, heart & mind have been opened wide. I've tasted the fruit and explored it's mysteries just because I'm young doesn't mean I can't see what is around me, I am no longer blind anymore and I can see it all. Light up the darkness that is what I always say but it easier said then done maybe that is why people gave up because it was just to difficult to change the way people see the world...is it? They are probably right but that doesn't mean I'm going to quit just because something is hard to do doesn't mean it isn't worth doing, to those reading I must tell you to open up what is locked, stop talking of destroying the darkness and actually do it, I myself am trying to start a club revolved around the things I have just discussed, EVEN IF I CAN'T DO IT SOMEONE ELSE WILL HAVE THIS SAME GOAL AND THEY WILL SUCCEED WHERE I HAVE FAILED, LIGHT UP THE DARKNESS!!!!!!! This goal has only two options and that is fail or succeed it may be stupid to you but to me it is a pure goal, a goal that will be blessed and a goal where it will happen. LIGHT UP THE DARKNESS!!! DESTROY THE EVIL THAT SURROUNDS YOU, KNOW THE BETTER WAY AND SHOW OTHERS THE SAME PATH AND IF YOU END UP IN A DEAD END, KEEP WALKING WALK THE ROAD OF THE SKY AND KNOW THAT YOU ARE SOARING BY ANGELS, KNOW THAT YOU ARE FARTHER FROM THE EVILS OF THE WORLD AND TELL OTHERS TO DO THE SAME TO ESCAPE THE EVIL. SHOW THEM THE LIGHT, LIGHT UP THIS WORLD SURROUNDED BY DARKNESS!!!!!! Do what people fear to do, do what people don't want to, stop the wars.

The beginning

Yes, for those that understand that, yes it has begun. The only question will you help me will you help with this vision of mine? If you are as tired as I am of seeing your friends in agony, in tears because of this heartless world if not stop reading because you are ignorant, you only see and hear what you want this world isn't perfect and if you haven't realized that there is no perfection, then you don't know how the world is. now if you want to help if you want to help, if you want to light up the darkness this world is engulfed in then comment this. It is starting it is the start of how I am going to light up the darkness. I am a Light, and I am going to try my best to help, to help those who need it. It has begun now you can totally ignore me or help me. Your choice.

To the friends I left behind

If any of my of my friends read this, old ones or new ones remember I am always around even when I'm not really I'm always around, just to help. I am always there to help, I will come to comfort you I will go to endless bounds just to help you, but you got to tell me, I will run just to reach you I dont care if your 3000 miles away from me I'll come. You guys are my friends and you have taught me so much so let me return the favor. I am not doing this because I have to but because I want to. If you guys ever read my new year resolution I have to tell you I wrote it because of my friends, and now it has become a goal that I want to fulfill. I may need help myself but I will always put my friends on the top of my list. We grew up together and right now it may seem like our bonds are breaking but I need to say NO! are bonds will stay as long as I live, I swear it. You guys always saw me as someone great but I always saw my friends as the great people. My friends are my inspiration, my encouragement my light in the darkness. Everyone I know and met and befriended I always saw they all had something special, a unique gift that seperated the rest, I became friends with people individualy and not as a group. I just got to know the persons group and I learned that even they had something unique. We all became friends because you wanted to, all I have to say is thanks because my friends helped me grow. But always remember this as we grow apart "New friends are silver but old ones are gold." We all have a unique gift and all I want to say don't fall under pressure and lose it and if you do remember I am always around I am always watching like a sentenial being I am always looking after everyone, I am not around but I am always watching, and I will come when summoned. If you ghuy's ever need comfort, help, or advice call me don't just lay there and become a mess, because then I'll blame myself. Know I am always around that I am lways watching, I am always protecting you, I will always come when asked no matter the distance. Remeber even when I'm not around I am.

The Doubts so Far

So far I have been struggling to control myself to be what I want to be, I have changed but only slightly and I am starting to doubt if I could actually do it. But then I remember something of how someone saw greatness in me, when my after school teacher had his baby he brought him in then he said to me"I want him to be just like you." I guess that's when I realized I had potential I no longer wanted to do things because I had to but because I wanted to. I wanted to set an example, I wanted to inspire others I wanted to just spread myself. But then fifth grade came and friends started changing, some left it became worse in seventh grade were I just lost them I don't even think I have a connection with them anymore. That is when I started wondering what in the world is so great about me I, I say nothing but my memories say something else something different that I have power I have the potential to do great things. Are there really great people in this world or is it just power. I see darkness when I actually look around but I see other things in a persons eyes, something that makes me wander off into a trance that just keeps searching for something pure, something that I know I can reach if I just tried. I look for the good in them is what I try to do constantly, but the other parts of me keep altering it feels like I can't keep a simple grasp on a subject, I am starting to doubt myself I am starting to doubt if I am really different or if I'm just another one of those guys who cause damage to people. Am I different or am I just like everyone else can I sustain my vision of being every one's light I am trying my best to help through writing but when will I be able to help fully both physically and mentally. Right now I am fighting between the mind that just thinks of destruction, chaos, war, depression, darkness and Hell. I have lost sleep because of this part of my mind. The other one that sees hope, light, peace, balance, tranquility and Heaven. These two side are consistently fighting and I cannot chose one is walking more into the darkness and the other is trying to prevent it. In middle school I traveled more into the darkness I'm glad to say I was pulled out, by who I don't know I just remember the hand reaching for me. I guess some one is still looking over me, I hope that I can do what I want to and that is to be a Light I want to pull every one out of the darkness, all I need to do is win the war within myself. I need to have control for those reading this I need to say it may seem like I have control but I don't I know I help you guys all the time, and it never seems like I need help, all I'm doing is faking it I do need help but right now you guys are more important even if I have to lose a few battles I'll make sure I become a Light, I will become Light because I want to make sure you guys actually have a future. I am Light!!!!!!

New Year Resolution

My New Year resolution is to grow stronger in both body and mind, to be more wiser to pull out the people that are in the pits of despair. Everyone that will graduate in 2011 will become the next generation and they will become the best because I have finally chosen to become the light that shines in the darkness. This is not for me this is for everyone because I want everyone to have a better future to not be sad, but to be happy all the time. I want to finally show people the way and I want to do it better then I have ever done before. I am the Light that shines in the darkness, and I will turn everyone I meet into lights I will change people to become better to become the best. I am not writing history but I am insuring that they will, I am gonna give them the courage to write something in the tablet of time. To make their stories, I will not change the world I will only change them and then they will change the world. I will finally become the Light something that I have ignored for to long. I will show the way and I will show them everything. I will make sure there is no more darkness. I am gonna make sure that I become what I have thought was gonna be to much a responsibility for, I will become the Light.
From this day forward goodness will be found even in the darkest hearts.

The Convergence

I believe peace will only be found if and only if we all combine as one. One country doesn't matter any more we need to focus on one world. Right now everything is separated and for one reason we still act like animals. Why do we call ourselves humans if we still act like animals? Enough of the instincts crap if we call ourselves humans how come we still act like animals. The reason is because we haven't learned to live together to work as one. The Convergence is my only theory but it's the riskiest one I have thought of because it has two paths peace and chaos. All wars end, if thats true then how come we still live through the war that involves not land, not religion nor money. The war that involves what we define as human are we savages like animals or are we what we call ourselves intelligent creatures. If we are so intelligent then how come we still fight with one another how come we could only be friends with the people we respect or have common interest. We are all different which makes us the same so why can't anyone understand that? Yes we are different but that doesn't mean we should hate others for their differences. If we do we just cause more freaking wars battles don't matter anymore nor do wars. Stop trying to win stop trying it isn't the answer the only answer is peace and there are millions of ways to acquire it the best one is to call a truce. It doesn't matter if we hate each other all that matters is that we can learn to live together. Do not just learn from the past but also the present when that happens you know what is right. Alone we are powerless but together even the impossible is possible.

Story Ideas

Well this is the I think the second time I ask to get your opinion. Anyway I need opinions on which story idea I should do first and I'm asking for opinions because it's hard for me to choose and I mean really difficult anyway here are the story ideas.

The Brain and Brawn Condition:
A boy is born with a rare condition. A friend will try to decode his journals to describe the moments the condition started taking affect to the pint it will kill him.

The Soul Keeper:
A girl has lost a boy for whom she had deep emotions for. The day before his death he gave her an orb with a leaf inside, which leads her to his book shortly after his death. She now finds herself in a war between good and evil and both sides are after the book to change the world.

The Battle of the F.I.=
A boy has fallen victim to a nuclear bomb that has split him into two people. One is evil while the other is good. One controls fire while the other controls ice. thus the battle begins.

Nova:
It is the nova era here on earth and the sun is about to die. Only the man who controls fire that is told in legend is able to save the earth.

Crystals:
A boy with the unique ability to manipulate crystals has fallen prey to his future. To save th world. He has just begun knowing how dangerous his powers are. will the future kill him or give him a chance.

Depression

It hurts in so many ways that you can't even count that high. It can happen any way the worse is selves the loss of a loved one. Some people want to kill themselves others just turn cold; I went through the cold one and now I have no idea how an emotion is supposed to feel like. When you lose a loved one you fell like you lost everything. I just want to tell those who go through this you haven't. Just stop and think before you do something horrible would your loved one really want you to do this. I doubt it they would want you to stay happy and live a good life. Just look around a t what you have and you see you still have great friends, loving guardians. You may think that no one cares about you anymore but I want to say there is at least one person who still cares about you. So drop the knife, drop the match, don't you even dare of jumping off, don't even think of hanging yourself don't dare do anything that you know will make someone else depressed. Think about the consequences if you kill yourself then someone else will think that their life is bad and do the same things you did. So don't walk into the darkness walk into the light, be happy but don't think that it will come easily you have to work for happiness. There is never no end just new beginnings. So be happy because you still have a life ahead of you that is always worth fighting for. It is never the end it is just another beginning.

Anger

To me anger is not a gift but a curse, because my anger is an uncontrolled rage and once activated it cannot be stopped unless of course someone of great importance to me is there to calm me down. I have seen the fear in peoples' eyes when they have seen me truly angry to me it is heartbreaking. I don't want my friends to fear me nor do i want to see them hurt. Anger is an emotion and like all other emotions it can be controlled. It boils inside of you until you have to let it out, your eyes of judgment become cloudy and you find yourself yelling out things that don't even make sense. To some this feels good because you are filled with power and you want it to last forever. To me it is a continuous struggle between my mind and body. I know what I can do to someone if i tried which is what scares me. Everyday I find myself worrying if i will lose control and hurt someone. If you treat anger as a gift a congratulate you because you can do what i can't, use it. If you treat it as a curse let me tell you just this if you ever find you lose control don't take it on the person who did it but take it out on something inanimate that way you cause no damage to anyone. Find your Yin I should say, the good side of yourself and unleash it let someone be your balance, to make sure you are always in control and not your anger.

Friends

Everyone needs a friend, for they need us. A friend is someone who cares about your thoughts and

feelings. They help you in more ways then one. i believe that without friends most of us will be lost

in the dark tunnel called life. To me friends are my wings, they help me soar into the sky higher

then i can imagine. Those without friends stay grounded while those who do soar freely into the

sky. Friends cure us in both heart & mind. We cannot live without friends without feeling like

something is missing. Friends are a piece of a persons puzzle and without them we are incomplete.

Who i am

Who am I? I honestly don’t know myself; when I asked myself that question I couldn’t find the answer.
I used to think I was just a kid with a title-- Andres, but the more I thought of it the more I realized I am
more than just a kid with a name. I kept looking for the answer to that question and found out that I
have only answered parts of the question. I have only just scratched the surface of myself which makes
me wonder who I am really. Am I just Andres or am I something more? Every day I find out more and
more about myself. What describes a person who is smart, emotional, deep, intimidating, strong, and so
much more? Do you know because I don’t? I’ll probably never know myself; to everyone I am too
complex and I agree with them. I don’t really understand myself. I have only just seen parts of me and I
know there is more but what is it?
Over the summer I found two parts of me that I have never seen, how far have I dug in my heart and
how much deeper can I dig. I think of my other parts as multiple personalities each with a different
ability. I have found seven parts of me so far, and I know there are more parts of me left. It’s almost like a
puzzle really; piece after piece will fit with each other until they finally make the picture they are
supposed to make. These parts don’t give themselves names and I don’t want to name them (except I did
name one) but I will describe them.
My first part of me is the one that is always the most common to notice. That part is always thinking
looking for answers to life questions, and is the one that seems to procrastinate most of the time. I seem to
live in a different state of mind, all fantasy and sorrow. This part of me sees how horrible and destructive
the world is and always seems to dream on how that part could make things better. that part sees how the
world is so tainted in greed and power, every flaw which is why I always seem to stare. Even though I
see the world so tainted when I view into the eyes of a person I see no flaw. This part of me is to me very
helpful but weird to other people.
The second part of me I discovered during soccer. That part always seems to come out each time they
score twice on me. I play goalie during soccer; when that second goal goes in I find myself messing my
hair until it stands up on its own. For some bizarre reason I’m actually more focused but more aggressive
which I actually don’t like about that part of me, but when I am in that stage no one is able to score
anymore. In a way this part of me is a good part for everyone. My teammates never have to worry about
losing, but it saddens me how come I can never use that focus during class. After a soccer game I will
always ask myself if I can summon my focus without bringing out my aggressive side. This part of me is
almost like an uncontrolled balance between yin and yang; both will keep fighting until the end.
My third discovery is the only one I named. His name is Fluffy and that part comes out when I am
extremely bored. Just like my second, that part messes up my hair, but makes it puffier, almost like a
fluffy dog. That one is really entertaining this personality can make anyone laugh but that part of me does
it in really bizarre ways. Fluffy is like the comedian in me except that part doesn’t have many puns that
part just uses physical humor as his weapon of choice. Everyone likes that part of me but that part of me
can be very weird sometimes and completely random. This part of me is to me a good part no bad part in
it except for the fact that that part of me will become annoying after a while, but besides that Fluffy is
really cool.
The fourth one I would consider normal but a bit meaner, that part of me came out in seventh grade this
part of me I hate, and it always gets me into trouble. This one talk’s way too much, doesn’t listen to the
teacher, talks back to the teacher and hurts and insults friends and family. By the time I snap out of that
one I find myself either in detention, the principal’s office, my room or at a far away distance from my
friends thinking of how big of an idiot I have been. This part of me comes out when I am so annoyed, that
it is part is pretty harsh and annoying. I really don’t like this part of me and no one else does either, this
part is like a monkey that has been caged and then let lose inside someone’s house, this part is very, very
aggravating.
The fifth piece of my puzzle is a bit of a writer, this part of me always writes of death, love and fantasy.
The death this part of me thinks of isn’t an ugly death but this part tries to capture beautiful deaths. This
part thinks that a beautiful death is sad, beautiful and artistic, and that part is probably right. A beautiful
death is like a painting, a piece of art that is worth a tear. Sadness and sorrow drives this part of me out
and then follows it by an urge to write. Sometimes I look back at my writing and wonder who the heck
wrote it. This part is very helpful when I have to write essays or I want to write just to relieve my stress.
To everyone this part is of me is an intelligent person who has a way with words, but to me that part is
just someone who relieves my anger and stress.
My sixth part is the intelligent part of me; he comes out when I am very, very confused, as confused as
a child who spun around to many times. When I am in that type of confusion that part of me comes out
and starts observing everything almost like a detective really. This part just starts splitting things apart
this part knows and sees flaws, and practically knows everything really. The problem with this part is that
it always tries to stay a little longer like it wants to live, almost like it wants to control me which is why I
don’t like using that part too much. Yet this part of me is very helpful when it comes to a very
complicated problem, but it never comes out during tests which is another reason I don’t like this part of
me it never helps me when I need it. To everyone this part is annoying because it criticizes too much.
The last part of me I have discovered is deep and compassionate and loves to give people advice that
part of me is my favorite so far. This part always seems to come out when a friend is having problems;
my sensitive side is what this part is. This part is so wise and so deep this part seems almost poetic in a
way. This part is so down to earth it knows what reality is and how to conquer it, this part is to me a good
part it puts others before itself, it will never hurt anyone’s feelings and it learns from the past. Almost like
a historian it learns from the past and makes sure it does not repeat. Maybe that is why it is so wise and
helpful it learns from past mistakes and ensures that it can mold a future by looking back. Everyone this
part of me has helped has literally fallen in love with it, as if this part of me had the scent of love potion
#37. To me this part is my teacher of happiness it’s advice on reality is almost professional, which is
probably why it is one of my favorite parts of me.
All of these parts are my puzzle each one will fit to another, but I yet to find puzzle pieces that are
missing. My full human being, the one that was whole before it was shattered, will show again when I
have found all the missing pieces and fit them together. Right know I am just a jumbled up Rubik’s cube
that needs to be put into its original form. When I have accomplished that I, Andes Flores, will be able to
do what each part of me can do and so much more. I am who I am just a kid whose eyes aren’t polluted
by the world but his soul is lost in the darkest corners of his mind. I am Andres Flores the picture of
all my puzzle pieces put together, a collage of everything that describes everything about me yet I have
yet to find more of myself. Right now I am wondering through the darkness searching helplessly for
myself and without a flashlight. I could only see parts of myself in the darkness and sometimes they just
pop out of nowhere scaring me when I see them because of what they do. Right now I’m just a a boy lost
in the darkest corners of my mind and the only thing that keeps me intact is that I know who I am I am
Andres Flores.